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“Don’t lose any more weight.” Mark ordered as he strapped a cervical collar onto my neck. “At least not until you build some muscle on your back and neck.” “But, but, I’m so close to my goal,” I whined like a petulant three year old. I really didn’t think my injury due to a fall in high heels in our gravel drive was related to muscle loss. Yes, I had given myself a case of whiplash that would make me respect the injury for the rest of my life, but that was due to the fall and not to the thirty pounds I had lost this spring.
In case any of you have been following my 59th year goals – one is to return to my marriage weight by my birthday in September. I am getting so very close and my teeth are deeply sunk into the end goal like a dog ferociously latched onto a meaty bone. I want to achieve this goal!
My fall happened while hunky-marine-corp-doctor-hubby was in Morocco on a military exercise. Thankfully he returned a week early and began issuing doctor/commander sounding orders …all intended to get me well…fast. Take this pill! Wear this collar! Stay in bed! Build muscle!
I love this man.
And I will be a good patient and do everything he tells me….except…I simply must reach this goal! I am almost to a countdown which will be announced in this blog. Watch for a giant 10 to appear. That means the last ten pounds is on its way out. In the meantime I know I must start exercising.
But first things first – right now I am lying here in bed next to my sleeping, jet-lagged hubby -even in his dreams his hand stretches across our king bed in search for my hand –
The muscle relaxant he insisted I take is blissfully starting to kick in……..
And…. before… I… doze… off (it took me 30 minutes to write this last sentence)..
I am grateful again that God helped a once troubled marriage make its way back to tender care.
Here is some dependable wisdom for your marriage that you can take to the bank: Care for each other well in sickness. This kind of love in action will put deep deposits into each other’s emotional bank accounts.
yours
truly mama re
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Returning freshly done up from Muddy Paws Pet Grooming, and all caught up on shots from Muddy Creek Animal Hospital, Bodie gets to celebrate by riding home with the top down for the first time all spring.
April means ……top down!!!
“You know,” my husband began solemnly, “This is Easter weekend and tomorrow is Good Friday”. “No, it’s not,” I answered without surprise or sarcasm…just a tad humorously. “Easter was last weekend. Remember all the cool stuff we did with the grandchildren? Remember the awesome service in the chapel?” “Oh that’s right,” he grinned. No, Mark is not on the verge of Alzheimer’s disease. In fact his mind is as sharp as ever. We just go pretty fast around here and time slips by.
We, in fact, had a great Easter. The service in the Naval Academy chapel is always grand with the midshipmen choir singing their hearts out from the balcony under the dome. Add to that two baptisms performed in a hot tub hauled to the front just for this occasion.
Our kids all go to their own churches. Graham and Esther have always been members of the Vineyard church. Whitney and JD attend a community church in D.C. and Logan and Laura go to Apostles in New York City. So, we didn’t see any of them until the afternoon when Graham, Esther, our four grandchildren and Whitney and JD came by for a roast dinner.
Now I have a confession to make – Mark and I don’t like playing with children. We will sit and look at them for hours, but we don’t have any desire to play with them. I consider this an unforgivable weakness on my part and I am always working against this feeling. What grandmother doesn’t like to play with the kids? Given that confession you will understand that even though this is probably not a big deal to you, we were nevertheless very proud of ourselves when we came up with the idea for a scavenger hunt for the children…rather than ANOTHER egg hunt (they had already been to two). Mark made up all the quiz questions and the children (and Mark, by the way) had a blast finding their way to their Easter baskets. In this picture he is reading the next clue that will send them dashing to another part of the house.
Easter scavenger hunt with Mark, Kyrie, Juliet, Ransom and Blaise
So, yes, dear, we did have Easter and it was glorious. How many glorious times have we forgotten? Will we remember them all in heaven? I hope so.
Dear Mama Re,
My four year old won’t leave me alone. He is constantly at my elbow wanting to help. Everywhere I go and everything I do he is always right there looking eager and saying, “ Can I do it?!” Yesterday I actually tripped over him as I was unloading groceries because he was beside me ‘helping’ me lift the bags and I didn’t see him. Now I have a twisted ankle. Yes, it is sweet, I know, but it is driving me a little crazy and I just want to put him in front of the TV and get stuff done all by myself. Would that be so wrong? What should I do?
Too much help
Dear TMH,
Parenting an inquisitive, eager child is a lot of work but it pays huge dividends.
A rather large longitudinal study noted that one of the best predictors of future success in children was the degree of industry in childhood. When you were young did you like building things, creating, planning, and participating in activities like carrying in groceries? Did you always want to be with Dad in the garage hammering something? In the study I mentioned, 450 men were observed for over 35 years and it was discovered that the best predictor of success was not IQ nor family of origin issues but rather the amount of industry as a child.
Next time your little one wants to help in the kitchen, or in the garage…and you send them off to watch TV or work on the computer to get them out of your hair, think about this study.
There are so many children now who will need to be encouraged to become active and industrious because they have been ‘trained’ to just sit and watch the world through media. They have lost that eager spirit. Don’t worry, they can get it back. Here are a few suggestions. Turn the computer and the television off. (This is harder for us parents than it is for our children). Give them regular chores. Have family workdays where you learn to have fun together while you are developing new skills and doing things that benefit your home. Let your children see a positive attitude in you as you go about your daily work.
Yes, I said the word work in this letter more than once. It is a great deal of work to raise an industrious child. It is even exhausting when they are young. But God gave children to young people for a reason. You have the energy to do it. So, decide now to make the extra effort to raise an industrious child.
You won’t be sorry, I promise.
Yours truly,
Mama Re
Facing the day – Sunrise from our bedroom window. Winter at Tenthouse
“When did you feel the most beautiful?” This from my husband as his sister, Linda, and I were preparing dinner (he has a habit of asking probing questions during dinner). I started raking my brain for ideas and was having trouble thinking of even one time I felt particularly beautiful. Now, I don’t think I am too bad looking. I can be pretty cute at times. But beautiful? Linda was already relating one of her favorite memories in vivid detail. Why couldn’t I think of anything?
Finally I understood my problem. This may sound silly to you, but I only feel beautiful when I have a waist – and I have not had one for awhile. I am a short, ‘sturdy’ woman who has always dreamed of being ‘willowy’. That adjective does not work on my frame. Even when I lose weight, I never look ‘thin’, I just look smaller…but still sturdy. I bought a Westie because the breed was described as ‘sturdy’. I liked that because I empathized with it. Bodie and I have something in common-we know we will never be willowy. But does this mean we will never be beautiful?
Well, I made a decision, If I can’t be willowy, I know I can at least have a waist and that might make me feel beautiful. This is not one of my more noble goals, but I have to be honest with you, it really is a goal. I don’t have to tell most of you the more important benefit of a smaller waist – that it is healthier for your heart to have less fat around your middle. So, there you are – achieving wedding weight by the time I am 60 =small waist=healthy heart=feeling beautiful and getting to wear shirts tucked in.
And my sweet, patient husband loves this goal. Achieving it will be as much a gift to him as it will be to me.
And I am off to a decent start.
Since my 59th birthday I have lost 16 pounds using Medifast food, and availing myself of a great coach whose advice comes free with the purchase of the Medifast products. I gained three of those pounds back over Christmas, but lost it last week, so I hope I am back on track. This week I am traveling with my hubby to San Diego for nine days. This can be good and it can be bad. Mostly it is good….with no food prep I am less tempted, and i can always find something on a menu that is healthy. My suitcase is full of Medifast stuff. Everything in Medifast is protein disguised as something else, milkshakes, candy bars, soups, chips, etc. Some of it is good and some of it you get used to and some of it you ship back (which you are allowed to do).
People always ask me how I will maintain my weight loss. Will I have to stay on Medifast the rest of my life? The answer is, “I don’t know.” I know from experience that maintaining weight loss is a whole different animal from getting the weight off, and I must figure out a plan. But the first goal is just to get the fat off.
Another question I get is, “Are you exercising?” The answer to that is, “Not yet.” Right now I am attempting to burn fat only. When I arrive at (an undisclosed amount) a certain weight and I feel I have lost a good deal of body fat (only), I will then begin training. I’m not sure when that will be, but, again, I will let you know.
One thing I do know is that these days when I wake up in the morning I feel terrific and I can’t wait to jump out of bed and get on with my day. That good feeling is partially because I am eating properly and I have more physical energy, and partially because I feel stronger emotionally as I grow in self discipline. Self discipline is a ‘muscle’ you exercise just like you would other muscles in your body. Self discipline can become weaker from lack of use, or stronger as you practice saying ‘NO!” to yourself. When you practice saying “No!” to yourself, you are engaging in ‘mental push-ups’.
There are even more benefits to waking up feeling healthy and strong. When I am being true to my diet goals, I wake up eager to encourage those around me, I have more endurance and can happily face the work day, I am more positive and cheerful, I am less intimidated by people and situations, I worry less about myself and my aches and pains (which are going away!) and think more of others. When I feel good physically and stronger emotionally, I smile more, and I say, “Yes!” more.
And, get this….I am getting all those wonderful benefits and I am not even to my goal weight yet…I am just on the way.
So, take note, it only takes 48 hours of self discipline with a diet or an exercise program to start feeling great. You feel so wonderful to just be on the way…long before that goal is actually reached.
My advice? Start now…today…this hour.
I guarantee that tomorrow morning you will wake up happy.
yours truly,
mama re
From our home on Tenthouse Creek we look across the river to our little village of Galesville. Galesville has two churches, two restaurants, three marinas, a sailing club where our grandchildren take sailing lessons in the summer, a memorial hall with it’s occasional square dances and fried oyster dinners, and a post office where everyone meets to chat with Carol Sue, our post-mistress who lives right above the office.
Looking from our dock over at Hartges Marina in Galesville. It is early morning and the moon is still in the sky.
You might say that our river is as much a ‘street’ in Galesville as is Church Lane, the street where you will find our two churches. So much of the life of this community happens around this river and has since the Quakers built the mansion (on this same creek) called Tulip Hill in the early 1700’s. Most of the people in Galesville live on the water, local watermen have made their living for generations here, and the marinas work on the river hauling boats in and out as the seasons change. So mostly this is a working river, however, vacationing sailers also enjoy it as they travel north or south in the Chesapeake Bay. These visitors drop anchor in Tenthouse Creek because it is a safe haven from storms, and a beautiful backdrop for an evening dinner on deck.
Our boat, Dawn Treader II in the foreground, and our live aboard neighbor, Dan, in the background.
My grandson, Ransom (6) is standing by the sign for one of the two churches on Church Lane.
Sunday after Thanksgiving my dad, an 86 year old retired pastor, was asked to speak at this little church about stewardship. Our family filled three pews and doubled the attendance that day. He gave an inspiring message making us all proud, then we returned to our home for an old fashioned pot roast Sunday lunch. By the way, we are not Methodists, but in our family and in this town the most important thing is to believe the Bible is the word of God.
Mom and Dad’s dear friend, Alzenia, came for church and for lunch on Stewardship Sunday
Tenthouse in the spring
Thanksgiving celebrations did not end with the actual day of Thanksgiving. Friday one group left and my brother and his family arrived. The plan was to finish off all the Thanksgiving leftovers that night. When I arrived home from black Friday shopping the frig had been emptied out onto the counters and friends and relatives were picking on the turkey carcass like buzzards along Muddy Creek Road scarf up road kill. I panicked…what do I feed the crowd if they get hungry again?! The answer….nothing…..let them go out for pizza if hunger pangs hit them before bedtime. No one went to bed hungry.
Number for Friday Dinner after Thanksgiving – 15 or so
My brother, Geoff, and his family arrive.
Nephew Eli and his girlfriend, Emily.
More porch sitting, more talking…before Laura and Logan leave.
(Emily, Laura, Logan, Megan and Mark)
Yummy ice cream filled cream puffs – one of sister-in-law, Sharon’s, specialties.
Goodbye good friend, Jonathan Norris
Sad, but beautiful drive west on highway 50 – taking Laura and Logan to catch a bus to Brooklyn and Megan the Metro back into DC.
Tomorrow – Thanksgiving week part three – The Landons arrive
Thanksgiving officially began at Tenthouse with the arrival of Logan (our son) and Laura (his wife) from Brooklyn, NY. Daughter, Whitney and JD, her hubby, arrived the same day from their home in DC. Of course my mom and dad were already here – as was Liz, my niece.
The number for Tuesday dinner – 9
Tuesday of Thanksgiving week – Stroganoff Sandwich and the movies. After an early dinner we all went to see ‘Lincoln’.
Stroganoff Sandwich – the finished product. Everyone loves this and I have been making it for 38 years.
Wednesday was baking day, friend, Jonathan Norris’ arrival, and dancing in the kitchen, and setting the tables for Thanksgiving dinner.
The number for Wednesday dinner (broccoli-cheddar soup made by Liz) – 10
Laura makes the best apple pie I have ever tasted.
Jonathan and Liz ‘swinging’ in the kitchen.
Dining Room overlooking Tenthouse Creek – set for 10
Porch table overlooking our pond and the West River – set for 10
Thursday was Thanksgiving prep, frisbee, and the arrival of many more family and friends.
The number for Thanksgiving dinner -20
Logan cooking delicious brussel sprouts
The best pies ever – my mom’s pecan, Laura’s crumb-topped apple, and Laura’s mom’s (Kathleen) homemade pumpkin.
Logan and JD playing frisbee in the front yard
Laura and Liz on the receiving end of that same frisbee. Bodie is bored with it already.
Whitney watches from the porch as she studies for a nursing exam.
Mark chatting on the beach with Laura’s family – Kathleen, Newt and Megan
JD
Whitney
One of our chaplain’s and his family also joined us for Thanksgiving dinner. Madison and Brandi Carter have three little children, two boys and a little girl, Kinsie (in this picture – playing with the ark with Logan and Laura).
While we all ate and talked, my parents quietly cleaned the kitchen. Thanks, Mom and Dad!
Friday, Saturday and Sunday meals were as big and as festive as Thanksgiving dinner, and they each had their own groups and celebrations. When one group left, another arrived. All told, Tenthouse hosted a total of 24 overnight guests in three different shifts during Thanksgiving week, and we cooked 100 individual meals.
Our friend, Lynsey, went to Kenya with my daughter, Whitney, and I a few years ago. We spent a whole month together there working in an orphanage. As you can imagine a strong friendship formed during that month. Then Lynsey married my son’s best friend from high school and the bonds of friendship grew stronger. Now Lynsey and Aaron live in Virginia with their baby girl, Penny. Last week I was thrilled when Lynsey and Penny decided to spend a whole week with us at Tenthouse.
When Mark is not making his famous Ceasar Salad in this bowl, Penny can use it for a rocker.
Group pic…Penny, Auntie Whitney and Bodie
Lynsey gives Penny a post bath rub down.
Bodie has to stay in the mud room while Penny is playing.
Liz folds – Penny keeps her company
Our four grandchildren came to stay with us for a few days while their parents were in Texas. We have a special room for them we call “Mole’s End” named for our favorite character in “The Wind in the Willows”. Mole’s End is an attic space that our son-in-law, JD, built into an awesome bunk room, secret hide out, swing room, and tiny climbing wall.
At the end of a hallway and behind a red door is a special room for grandchildren called ‘Mole’s End’. Rhys, Ransom and Blaise spend many happy hours here avoiding bedtime. Kyrie gets to stay up a little later than her younger sibs.
Juliet Rhys
Everyone has their own light and, if it is not a school night, they can read all night if they want to – just as long as they stay quiet and stay in their own bed.
This ‘rock wall’ into a bunk was too hard for them when we first put it in…. 🙂
Blaise
Rhys is in the short bunk over the secret hide out tucked behind a book case.
Kyrie (9) gets to stay up a little later and watch the news with her great-grandmother, Mommom
Ransom (6) always the first one up, enjoys breakfast at the kitchen counter where he can watch me cook and keep his eye on the TV too.
Truly Mama Re 